marriage · rebuilding · reconnecting

Accountability

Who is holding you accountable?

Are you putting your best foot forward?  Are you being the type of spouse God intended you to be?

Are you reflecting on how your actions affect your spouse?

I wasn’t.  It wasn’t until my husband and I noticeably started having problems and we began marriage counseling that I started to pause and reflect.  I was focused on what he was or wasn’t doing that irritated me; making it known how angry I was; going tit for tat with him.

And then one day after I started re-reading “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  In my anger, I was no longer showing my husband how much I loved him.  I had thrown up walls and pushed him away.  I let my anger bring us to near ruin.  And it went both ways.  He was angry at me as well and he threw up his own walls; he started rebelling and doing things he knew would hurt me (he actually admitted to that).  There were plenty times when I attempted to communicate how I was feeling and resolve our issues, but he didn’t want to hear anything I had to say and there was nothing but this wall of defense.  My feelings were trivialized and didn’t matter to him and there began the cycle of anger and frustration.

Now that I recognize what I was doing, I am making efforts to correct my behavior.  It starts with me.  I am setting the example for how we should treat each other.  I am praying for my husband, our marriage, and our family each day.  I am showing him unconditional love everyday no matter how much he continues to hurt and disappoint me.  I am letting go of my anger and resentment to be the wife God wants me to be starting with the little things.  I now say “Good Morning” to him every morning when I wake up and “Good Night” every night before I go to bed.  I no longer leave our home without saying goodbye and giving him a kiss and I don’t let him leave without doing the same.  I greet him everyday when I come home from work.  Amazingly enough, those little things have changed our attitude towards each other.  Is it easy?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  It’s so easy to let anger and hostility take over, but it takes great strength to continue to show love even when there is strife.   We still have setbacks and we have plenty to work out in an effort to rebuild our marriage, but we are attempting to do so one day at a time; week by week.

Love is a Choice.  Love is a Commitment.  LOVE is the Key.  ♥

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